Responsibility
by ifonly13
Summary: A confrontation in the hospital room.


_A/N: This was a one-shot that I was working on a while back, after the airing of the finale. I had been opening and closing the document, not sure where to go with it about three-fourths of the way through. Tonight, it hit me and I dropped everything to get it completed. Then I realized that this little scene fit in perfectly with a scene from "All My Secrets," the one in which Castle references a conversation between Beckett and Alexis in the hospital, a conversation he never learned the details of. And for those of you who haven't read "All My Secrets," I am now shamelessly self-promoting - go to my page and read it (please)._

**_Disclaimer: Castle and crew belongs to Andrew Marlowe, not me._**

* * *

><p><em>Law and Order: SVU<em> was playing in the background. It seemed like the only channel hospitals ever got. Kate had quickly learned to tune out Stabler and Benson as she sat in her bed, looking at the garden of flowers that surrounded her. She hadn't expected so many – yes, the precinct would have chipped in and gotten an arrangement for any one of them that was wounded, but everyone had sent their own gifts as well. And for once, Castle's over-the-top arrangement had been outdone by the one sitting at her bedside, but not by sheer size.

The vase of five daffodils, decorated with only a single black ribbon, had been sent by Evelyn Montgomery and her children. They came with a note, thanking her for being a good friend of Roy's and wishing her well. She reached out, brushing one of the flowers with her fingertips, ignoring the tingle of pain that shot up her arm from her chest.

There was a knock at the door. "Castle?"

"Close." Alexis stepped into the room, carrying another armful of flowers. "The nurses said these were for you. Umm…" She hesitated, trying to find a place to put them. She cleared a spot on the windowsill, placing the two vases of flowers amongst the others.

"Geez… People need to stop spending money on things that are just going to wilt," she mumbled. Alexis smiled, but Kate could tell that it wasn't truly heartfelt. "What's wrong, Alexis?"

The girl took a deep breath, then went and shut the door, turning on her heel. "Can I be blunt, Detective Beckett?"

Kate pushed herself further up on the bed, ignoring the sharp pain. She could tell this wasn't going to be one of Alexis's calm, I'm-the-adult-in-the-Castle-family talks. "Sure."

"Who do you think you are?" Alexis asked, her voice laced lightly with venom. Her hands were clenched at her sides. "I mean, what makes you think that you can just drag my dad out into dangerous situations like that?"

"Alexis…"

The teenager raised a hand, effectively cutting off Kate's argument. "I'm not done. You endangered his life and the lives of everyone at that funeral. What if it had been him that had gotten shot, huh? What would you have done then?"

Kate was floundering. The woman that normally had the words for anything and everything was dumbfounded by Alexis's outburst. Her mouth was opening and closing, unable to form words as her mind raced. She felt guilty for making Alexis worry about her father, but there was a dose of anger mixed in when she saw that the teen placed all of the problems that had occurred on her shoulders.

"Well?" Alexis asked, her arms now angrily crossed over her chest.

"Alexis. Everything that your father has done has been of his own choosing. I haven't forced him to do anything since he started shadowing me. It has been his own two feet and his own brain that have made him walk out into the field.

"Secondly, the funeral was…" Kate had to swallow past a ball of guilt. What happened at the funeral _was_ her fault. The shooter was there for her, because of her mother's case. But that bullet could have easily gone through someone else, including Alexis or Martha or Rick. "You're right. The funeral was my fault. It was my past that brought the danger to the cemetery and I take partial responsibility for it."

"Good… Wait. Partial?" Alexis faltered on her way to the door. "What do you mean partial?"

"Sit down." When the teen just stared at her, Kate strengthened her voice so it was back into cop-mode. "Sit." Alexis sat in the chair that had so often been occupied by her father. "This is partially your father's fault. Back when he first started shadowing me, he did something that I had told him not to. He looked into my mother's murder. It was like re-opening a barely healed wound of mine. I don't think it ever completely scarred over, actually." She smiled, though it was distant. "Though I suppose the correct metaphor would be 'giving a bottle of the very best whiskey to a recovering alcoholic.' I became obsessed all over again."

Alexis nodded slowly. "So I should yell at Dad, too?" The comment made them both smile.

"If it would make you feel better. I know it helps me sometimes. Listen," Kate started, her fingers idly twisting the loose string on her blanket around her finger. "I get where you're coming from."

The teen raised a brow, tilting her head just a little in a way that showed complete disbelief in the statement. "Really?"

"Yeah. I know what it feels like to lose a parent. It sucks in a major way. It yanks your soul right out and you have to fight to keep yourself sane. The pain is unbearable, but you are forced to carry it every single day for the rest of your life. I would never, ever wish that on someone else." She had to stop, breathe for a moment and push back the flashbacks of helplessness, of long nights alone, of arguments with her father who smelt of alcohol. "So I understand how scared you are to lose your father."

Alexis looked up from her hands. "But Dad won't stop. Not while he obviously cares for you. I mean, how do I stop him from throwing his life away for you?"

Kate's chest hurt and, for once since she had woken up, it wasn't because she had been shot. Alexis was taking her father's words, ones that Castle had thrown at her in anger at her apartment, and applying them to her father. "I don't know, Alexis."

"But he won't stop. He'll keep showing up."

"Probably. Alexis, I can't promise you that if he continues to follow me he won't get hurt. My job is dangerous for those of us who are trained. Being a civilian, even one as well-versed in criminal psychology as your father is, makes the risks a thousand times greater." When Alexis's eyes widened, Kate interrupted the girl's thoughts. "But I can promise you that I will do my best to protect him when he's out with me. And I know that Detectives Esposito and Ryan will do the same. That is the most I can do."

Alexis stood up, pushing the strap of her purse further onto her shoulder. "Thanks, Detective Beckett." She paused at the doorway, her hand on the frame. "Oh, and Dad said he'd be back tonight."

"Have a good night, Alexis."

Kate waited until the door closed behind her partner's daughter before whispering softly, "I won't let you become me."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Now, click the "Review this Story" button and write something. Doesn't necessarily have to be nice since I prefer honesty over flattery, but something is better than nothing!_


End file.
